I can't do it anymore, I am a quitter. I don't want to be one of those people who just makes up excuses and hopes you believe them. Honestly, I don't really care what anyone else thinks, but I thought you guys deserved some sort of explanation or idea of what I'm thinking. You will begin to notice, if you haven't already that I am no longer vegan. This doesn't mean that I think being vegan is bad, because it's not. I love everything it stands for in promoting health, sustainability for the environment and kindness towards animals. I already know I sound like such a hypocrite for preaching to you guys about all the benefits of veganism and why you should go vegan, and honestly if it's something that you're interested in you should explore it and try it out. I'm not going to delete my old posts on being vegan, or pretend like it never happened. This is my blog and I want there to be history and experiences that maybe by some chance someone can relate to. There are so many benefits of going vegan, but what I'm taking away from my experience as a vegan is valuable as well. So before jumping to any judgment or conclusions about how much of a hypocrite I am, please take the time to understand things from my point of view. I know that my choices have a domino effect and I am contributing to these awful factors in what leads to eating a non-plant based diet but just hear me out.
When I first went vegan four months ago I felt amazing, I felt like I had all this energy and I was so motivated and excited about my contribution to the planet. During this time I was sort of in a honeymoon phase with veganism. I watched a bunch of documentaries (all super educating) and felt really passionate about the issues that surround the meat and dairy industry. And while these aspects still bother me, they weren't enough to keep me vegan. You might say that four months isn't long enough to know if you like something like veganism, it was constantly getting harder and my experience was becoming less of a positive thing for me. I started to dread the idea of going out to eat or always having to cook at home, and I really started to miss eating meat.
When I went vegan I wanted to make sure I was doing it right, because after all a huge part of going vegan was for my own health. I was making sure I was getting all my nutrients and eating a variety of foods, while rarely eating out. I found it really hard to eat out with my food allergies. Being allergic to nuts and sesame seeds I couldn't really eat at vegan restaurants because most of their foods were cashew based sadly. This really limited my protein choices. Of course I could eat tofu, vegan meat, soy and many other vegetables containing protein but after some meals I really wished I had just eaten meat. Don't get me wrong, as a vegan it's not hard to get any of the nutrients you need but I felt really limited. Contrary to what most people think, vegan meat doesn't taste bad at all, but it was expensive.
As most of us can agree on, a huge part of socializing is based around food. Getting lunch or dinner became almost impossible as a vegan unless I wanted to only eat fruit or salad which seemed redundant since being vegan was supposed to be about not limiting what I ate (as long as it was plant based). I found the meals I made at home to be repetitive and I found myself not wanting to go out to eat with friends because I knew I would have a hard time ordering or just be unhappy with my order. I felt like I was missing out on a world of foods and began to think about my trips this summer out of the country. I knew there was no way I was going to miss out on the amazing meals that I could have and knew trying to stay vegan in a country where I didn't speak the language was going to be extremely difficult. I wanted to be able to eat those traditional Brazilian foods that I loved and not worry if there was meat or dairy.
As I am no longer vegan, I am still using the information I have learned while being vegan to be more aware of what I'm putting into my body. I don't consume dairy (because I am lactose intolerant), I consume eggs from my own farm at home (where I know how they are treated and fed), and I eat locally grown meat (literally down the road from my house I saw the cow being raised and fed). I think that being vegan is great, but it's not for everyone. I need to do what's best for myself and I believe that this is it. I want to be more conscious about what I put into my body, because that is important, but I also don't want to restrict my eating and my well being for something I'm not 100% about anymore. After doing a lot of research, I feel much more educated on nutrition, where my food comes from and so now when I decide to consume meat, that's on me and it's my decision. I still only consume 3 types of meat, beef, chicken and turkey. I have never eaten bacon or seafood and will continue to not do so based on my personal preference and religious views.
I really hope that some of you guys can see where I am coming from, and also respect my personal views and life choices. I just wanted to share my thought process and decisions with you guys because that's what my blog is all about, me being able to be open and honest.